I will be the first to admit that today was a rough day. We all have those days in education where we feel like we are falling short or feel like a failure, when, in reality. that is far from the truth. I tend to be hard on myself and, due to struggling with managing student behavior at this point in time, I feel like I have been focusing on that without realizing the good I am doing.
Those positive emails sent home, those student nominations, the smiles and high fives I give on a daily basis- those things matter. Yes, planning, instruction, and assessment are vital components of being a teacher, and they are components that I am continuously trying to improve in, but when I am losing focus on what is really important, then it becomes an issue. I care about my students, and when I had a substitute in my room, he told me that nobody could say that I am not working hard and do not care. I beat myself up over little mistakes due to wanting to be perfect, and I have to learn to find a little bit of goodness in every single day because, if I do not, this career can be overwhelming. I broke down after school, and when I was reflecting, I realized that, thus far, the reason I cannot manage student behavior as effectively as I would like to is because I was making it harder than it needs to be. I need to do a better job at being consistent and having high expectations while giving appropriate wait time because, by doing that, I feel like the management issues will begin to be resolved, at least, to some extent. Even experienced teachers have rough days, and as a student teacher, I know that I am prepared and supported which means a lot to me. Not one day goes by where I am not grateful for my cooperating teacher or my Twitter PLN who remind me to be a light in the darkness and teach from the heart. Yes, this career can be draining, and we have days where we may feel like we are losing our marbles, but, even today, when I was not feeling my best, I found a little light, and that was in my 5th hour class. I was better at giving wait time and shifting their attention back, and I had no discipline problems. Now, my focus is getting every single one of my classes to be like my 5th hour. I am a student teacher, and I was vulnerable in this post, but I think that, if I do not fail, I cannot see how far I have really come. I am a work in progress, and that is okay. I just have to let go of my perfectionism and give 110 percent because, in the end, I know that things will work out, and I will be the teacher I have wanted to be since day one.
1 Comment
Ben
3/20/2018 06:36:15 am
Your passion for your work, and more importantly for your students, is shining through. It is inspiring that you are using difficult moments as reflective exercises, rather than letting them get to you. Know that you aren't alone in the struggles and success you have as a teacher. :)
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AuthorMy name is Ms. Jachymiak, and I am a pre-service teacher currently attending Illinois State University. This blog follows my journey as a student teacher. @MsJachymiak Archives
May 2018
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