Wow! 2018 has been a powerful year for me. I graduated from Illinois State University in May with honors, and I obtained my 1st teaching position. During the summer, I spent time relaxing with my family and stressing about my first teaching job. I felt prepared and ready to go, but inside, I was filled with butterflies about how my students would react to me since I was a teacher they were not familiar with. The good news is I have survived five months thus far, and of course, I have had a few rough days where I cried in the car driving home, and to be honest, those days are truly difficult for many reasons. Whether it was feeling like I was incompetent, struggling with the behavior of my students and wondering what was going on externally that was causing the behavior and trying to find the right response at the right time which doesn't always happen, or just doubting whether or not I am on the right path, those doubts, fears, and insecurities have a tendency to get to me. Luckily, my mom is great at looking at me and knowing something is wrong. She always knows what to say to get me to look at the bright side of things which, in those cases, was that I am learning a lot this year, and those challenges and issues are truly making me stronger as a teacher and as a person.
I am not going to lie. This 1st year is filled with many challenges mainly because a lot of it is new. I was a hard-worker at my university, and I took advantage of many opportunities such as attending teaching conferences, being secretary of CMLA, and working on honors projects. For me, classroom management has been the hardest for me because a university cannot prepare you for that. I read a few books and got ideas from mentors/ Twitter/ Pinterest, but a lot of it comes from knowing your students, and I feel like every class is different, so what works this year may not work next year. I do have procedures in place along with rules and consequences, but I feel like some things are working better than others, and when things are not working, I am trying a different strategy to see if that works better. This whole year is truly trial and error as my mentor teacher told me. In 2019, I plan on finishing the school year strong. I am setting up classroom goals in January due to knowing that my students like a healthy dose of competition, and this way, my students can work together in regards to turning in all assignments, transitioning quickly and silently, walking in the hall silently, etc. My students have absolutely come a long way, and I am proud of that. Some of my goals include reflecting on a daily basis in a journal and then posting my reflections on a weekly basis, being consistent and following through with the expectations that I have in place for my students, starting an interactive notebook for math, and organizing my classroom in a way that makes me more efficient. To conclude, I am grateful for the struggles and joys that come with this amazing profession because the struggles push me to do better for my students, and when I overcome a hurdle, I can look back and see that I have truly grown as a teacher. I know that my family and my PLN has my back and will continue to support me as I go further down this teaching journey. As a 1st year teacher, I am trying my hardest, and it can be easy for me to fall into the trap of teacher comparison, and I need to realize that we all have different starting points. I also wanted to thank these individuals who have really supported me during 2018. I wish I could include everyone that I follow on this list, but these are my top 3. Rae Hughart (@RaeHughart)- She is such an encouraging educator who has inspired me in many ways. She engages her students in internships that connect with the content she teaches. She is a rockstar. Wendy Hankins (@MrsHankinsClass)- She is such an amazing educator and one who has the kindest heart. She is always there to encourage and support, and I am so thankful for her. Alana Stanton (@AlanaStanton)- She has a huge heart, and she sends me voxer messages that brighten my day and always lift my spirit. I am so proud of all that she has accomplished, and I am so incredibly thankful that she is a part of my journey.
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If you knew that, when I was in 5th grade, my grandma passed away, and I felt like my life was falling apart, what would you do?
If you knew that girls were teasing me in junior high which led me to feeling lost, what would you do? If you knew that my neighbor passed away last year in a tragic manner, and I still have a hard time walking by her house due to missing her, what would you do? If you knew that I worry so much about being the best teacher I can be for my students because I know that they deserve it, what would you do? Would you take the time to see the real me? Would you be kinder? I have a tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve, and at first, I thought that was a bad thing, but, with time, I realized that being genuine and kind- hearted is such a blessing. I oftentimes wish that we could know what other people are going through because I truly believe the world would be a better place. We tend to be on the outside looking in, and amidst the darkness, light creeps in. I know that I have had instances where I have a lot on my mind, and a little thing that occurs makes me upset. Sometimes, we, as humans, say something and do not realize the impact those words have whether that be good or bad. I try to spread kindness as much as possible, and I oftentimes worry about whether or not people think I am genuine, but I know one thing. I am kind because I want to be, and amidst the hardships that I have experienced, I know the impact one message or one kind word can have. When my grandma died, my 5th grade teacher sent a card to my house, and it meant the world. My challenge for you is this. Even on days when you question whether or not the smallest action can make a difference, do not hesitate and just do it. Do not hesitate to send a thank you card, hug a friend, or let someone know you appreciate them. The world needs more kindness, and I do not know about you, but after writing this post, I see things from a different perspective. Everyone has a story to tell, but the question is whether or not you are willing to listen. I always tell myself that I will reflect on a weekly basis, and then, things become a whirlwind, but I know that reflecting on a weekly basis would be ideal, so I am going to carve out some much needed blogging time into my schedule.
It is surreal to me that I have just finished week 4 of my first year. It has truly been an adventure and one that I am grateful to have because I am learning a lot each day that is truly pushing me to become better. When my kiddos look at me, I know that I want to give my all on a daily basis. They are the reason that I get up in the morning and have a smile on my face even though I am tired from the day before. I was sick on the weekend about two weeks ago, and I thought it was just allergies. I was fine at school, and I felt okay, but I ended up having a few days with congestion and struggling to speak over my students. Due to having a soft spoken voice and being sick on top of all of it, I ended up losing my voice Thursday morning of week 3. I had tears in my eyes because I wanted to be the best teacher for my students, and I did not realize how bad it was until I tried to speak, and nothing came out. The aide was supportive and acted as my voice in the morning. She told me that she lost her voice during her 1st year and knows that I want everything to be perfect which is why I was upset over this whole ordeal. I ended up taking a half day due to her needing to go to another class, and even though my voice became a little better, I told my students that I needed to go to a doctor and see what was going on so that I can be accessible the rest of the week. My students were so sweet and made me notes saying that they hoped I feel better, and I have the notes on the bottom of my desk due to not having the time to truly look them over. It turned out that I had acute laryngitis, so I just took the afternoon to take care of myself so that, in exchange, I could be the best teacher for my students. On Tuesday on week 4, I had a lot of students who were talking over me and just not cooperating in class. I ended up talking to them about behavior, and after school, when a teacher on my floor asked me how my day went, I broke down. I was telling her about the two students who I was struggling with in regards to their behavior, and I ended up emailing home. Then, I received a call from the office that a parent wanted to speak with me and was on the other line. As I was walking down the hallway, I ran into the teachers on my floor who took me in their room and saw I was upset, so they took the time out of their day to talk to me and tell me that they all had those days and that they understood what I was going through. I ended up going back to the office to talk to the parent with my mentor listening in due to knowing that I may need the support. I spoke to the parent and told her that I would like to schedule a one on one conference. I ended up having the conference with the parent the day after, and I felt like things went smoothly. Then, I had curriculum night where I explained my curriculum and my classroom management system which is now classdojo. The parents said that they really liked classdojo and liked how accessible I was. I always post the homework on the class story, and I also post pictures and occasionally message parents positive news about their child. I am able to check my phone more than I check my email, so if the parents have a question, they ask via classdojo, and I typically respond during my plan. When I was having that rough day, I knew that I wanted to come in the next day with a fresh start. I was stricter with my students, and I started to tell them that certain students would be losing recess time. I have had about four students lose 5 minutes of recess, and I do feel like the students are more receptive of that because they are receiving consequences and have time to think about their actions. This has been working well for me, and I even started playing growth mindset videos via classdojo and youcubed. My students are loving it, and they are able to make those connections. On Friday, the students were still a little chatty, but the rest of the week went smoothly. I learned a lot these past two weeks. I tend to be hard on myself, but by leaning on the amazing support system I do have, I was able to get through and keep a smile on my face. Being a first year teacher is challenging because a lot of things are new. I do go on Twitter and have such a valuable PLN who have always supported me, and I always plan on going on and chatting with them because that is something that I do not have as much time for which is hard because that refuels my energy. I tend to go to sleep at 9, so it has been hard for me to stay up and do a Twitter chat. With that being said, I do plan on making that time this week because I need that chance to reconnect, reflect, and feel rejuvenated. I am not perfect, and I know I am making mistakes, but I also know that I care. I think about my students constantly, and I am thinking of ways to make my classroom be more organized because, to me, I need a structured environment. Due to not having an elementary background, it has been hard for me to try to figure out the ways to manage the paper-flow, but I plan on purchasing some items today to help with that. I love my career, and I do have good and bad days, but the good days absolutely outweigh the bad days. The secretary emailed me when she knew I was having a rough day, and she wrote " I want you to know that you are truly doing a good job. I know this is all new for you, but just remember why you became a teacher. Don't let just a few kids ruin your day. You will get the hang of everything before you know it. You are doing a great job and you have many people here that care about you. Now, go ahead, have that big cry, put it behind you and know that you are truly a great teacher." That message brightened my day, and I was so incredibly grateful to read that when I was sitting at my desk in the classroom. I went home, and my mom said that this is what I have worked for my whole life and that I should not let anything get in the way of that happiness and passion I have. Of course, having a rough day is not fun, but I needed to realize that I do have support, and I am not alone. I am sharing this story because I want to help first year teachers realize that it is okay to have bad days and to be vulnerable. This is part of the journey, and I know that things will get better because they already have. Sometimes, I just have to stop, reflect, and start over. My students are receptive to that, and I always hear that teachers feel bad for the first group of students they have, and I do feel like that will be the case for me, but I also feel like my kiddos learn a lot from me trying something, failing at it, realizing it, and changing my system. No one is perfect, and we are all in this journey together. I was reading "Be Real" by Tara Martin and started to read "Girl, Wash your Face" by Rachel Hollis. Both of these books inspired me to focus on being happy and that it is okay to be imperfect. I am not where I want to be yet in regards to teaching, but I also have faith that I will get there. Our motto this year is that faith can move mountains, and I do believe that. I have been meaning to write a blog post for a while now, but, due to being a first year teacher, life has become busy. To be honest, the inspiration for me to write this blog post came from a Twitter chat that I participated in earlier this week where I tweeted "If we, as educators, do not share out story, how can we expect that our students will?." I just finished my second week of teaching which is still a little surreal for me due to dreaming about this moment for a long time. I love my students, my school, and the colleagues that I work with, but that does not mean that everything has been easy.
Teaching can be stressful at times, and during these past two weeks, I have experienced some difficult things such as a parent email about bullying which led to an hour lesson about kindness. To be honest, that email kept me up at night because it was an issue that I did not want taking place in my classroom. After that email, I halted my plans and wrote on the board "How does kindness relate to toothpaste?" My students thought about this, and they gave me responses such as "It spreads". I began to explain how I was a camp counselor a few years ago and did this activity with my campers. I had them act out squirting a bottle of toothpaste on a plate, and, then, I asked how would they put it back in. Some students said that they could, but then I asked if they would be able to get all of it back in tube which led them to saying no. I explained how words can hurt, and even though a person may apologize, the words can still remain with the person for a long time. Afterwards, I told them that I wanted each student to write a letter to the school secretaries and one other individual at the school which ranged from the nurse and other teachers. I had four students deliver the notes, and, when they came back, they said that the nurse was speechless, and the school secretary said it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for her. Towards the end of the day, the secretary buzzed in and said thank you to all of my students. That day was powerful, and even thought the lesson took longer than I thought and was not necessarily tied to a standard, it was powerful for my students to see how one small action can brighten someone's day. During these past two weeks, I have also been trying different strategies to keep all of my students on task. I have a few students who tend to get off task which rubs off on the other students. At first, I tried doing a teacher vs student tally where they would get a point if they were on task. This seemed to work well, but I wanted to try something different. Due to realizing that my students seemed to respond well to immediate gratification and knowing that financial literacy was tied to my social studies standards, I decideed to try out a classroom economy. Now, of course, this is not perfect, and to be honest, I struggle with doing this due to feeling out of place giving students paper dollars for being on task, but the students come to class excited to obtain money and mentined to me that it is helping them learn those real life skills such as budgeting. Of course, I am still learning and am going to try to figure out a way to use this system but make it more about promoting intrinsic motivation rather than extrinsic. I was talking to a teacher aide yesterday who liked that idea but told me that consequences work well. After recess yesterday and thinking through what he told me, I wrote on the board warning, 5 minutes, and 10 minutes. I explained to the students that, if they are not doing what they are supposed to, I will give them a warning, and if the behavior continues, they will lose that many minutes of recess. This seemed to be the most effective because, in the afternoon, my students were truly engaged. The teacher aide also mentioned to me that he liked my spring in my step. I always walk down the hall in an enthusiastic manner, and I try to keep a smile on my face. He noticed that, and said that, as long as I keep my positivity, I will be okay. As a first year teacher, I know that consistency is key, and I truly am consistently looking up new strategies and techniques. I realized that I cannot be afraid to try something new, and if something is not working, I will just be honest with my students and figure out an alternative approach. Some days were easier than others, and two days ago, I felt slightly defeated due to dealing with behavior issues and still thinking about that parent email. I reached out to the parent who said that things have improved, and, later, after sending out a positive email home to one of my students, I got an email back saying that the mom noticed a change in her daughter which includes being excited to get up and go to school in the morning. The father said that was because of me. I almost broke down reading that email at night, and it truly brightened my mood the following day because I realized that, even on days when feel like I am not making much of a difference, I am even in the tiniest way. That student also wrote me a letter yesterday and said how I am a fabulous teacher already. That truly warmed my heart. I am guilty of self-doubt especially as a young teacher due to seeing amazing teachers on Twitter and in my school and wondering how I will ever get there. It is easy to fall into that trap of self-comparison, but I realized that I am unique and a work in progress. That is absolutely okay especially at this leg of my journey. Every person has a different starting point, and classroom management is something that I am working on. I am not there....yet, and that is okay. I was vulnerable in this post, but it allowed me to get my thoughts and feelings out there. I am loving my first year so far, and I know that I will have good and bad days, but by taking that first step and writing about the good and bad, I can help myself grow as a teacher. I plan on reflecting each week and keeping you up to date on my journey. Last year, I was documenting my growth as a student teacher. Due to participating in the PDS program at ISU, I was fortunate enough to have a full year experience. This experience absolutely shaped me and helped me realize that teaching is indeed a journey.
I recently accepted an offer for a teaching position, and my mindset began to shift. I always had a CT who had me under her wings and would show me the trials and triumphs of the classroom. Now, do not get me wrong, I was ecstatic to accept a teaching position, but I also realized that I was on my own, but then something hit me. The thing was I wasn't. In the midst of that excitement and anticipation for what's to come , it can be easy to lose track of how far we have come and who we have standing by our side. My family is my rock, and my former teachers/professors have always supported me and continue to do so, but I also have one other instrumental resource at my fingertips, and that is my Twitter PLN. My Twitter PLN has shaped me beyond measure, and of course, fear creeps in when trying to get ready and gets me to wonder if I am enough for those students, but my PLN reassures me that I am. I want to be the best teacher I can be, and that is what my PLN and I have in common. Every educator I meet, no matter how much experience they have, chimes in and joins chats along with offering words of wisdom. We are all in this together, and that has made this first part of my journey so incredibly special. At this point, I have to-do lists, and my room is filled with school supplies. I am trying to figure out procedures and the little things that add up, but, while those things may seem important at this moment, I know that there is so much more to come. I want my students, first and foremost, to be loved, cared for, and supported. I plan on having a community circle every morning, a memory jar, and just trying to build that relationship with each and every single one of my students. It can be easy to get overwhelmed with the small things, but when I go on Twitter, I realize the incredible support I have and know that people are cheering me on. That means the world. I need to remember to focus on my why and let that navigate me in the right direction. I cannot wait to meet my incredible students because these students will definitely hold a special place in my heart. I hope that they grow in many ways throughout this year, and I am excited for the challenges that this year will bring because I know that everyday is a learning opportunity and, in the end, those challenges will help me become a better teacher for the amazing students that I serve. Thank you for supporting me 110 percent of the way. My journey on Twitter started last year as I was documenting my experience as a student teacher. My university published an article about my Twitter usage which made me feel uplifted by all the support.
Then, all of a sudden, after successfully passing EDTPA and my content test, I was about to graduate which was truly a surreal experience for me due to dreaming about this moment my whole life. I graduated cum laude in May with a cord for doing a leadership pillar, an Honors cord, and being recognized with departmental honors as well. I was finally seeing that my hard work did pay off, and it was not about the recognition for me but rather the journey that I was on and my future ahead. I worked hard in college, and that does not mean that I did not struggle. I was fortunate to have amazing professors who genuinely cared about my success and wanted me to go into the world and make a change. Graduation, for me, meant a lot because I was the first person in my family to graduate with a Bachelors, and hearing my dad say that he was proud of me meant so much. My parents have given me everything that I could have ever wanted, and their journey was not easy. They were born in Poland and moved to the United States a few years before my sister and I were born. They ended up living on the top floor of my grandparents house in Chicago for a few years prior to moving to a house nearby. They were both working while knowing minimal English, and my mom ended up finishing her Associates without knowing much English. My parents are the embodiment of the American Dream to me, and they inspire me to work hard and achieve my dreams because they did all that successfully even with obstacles in their way. Soon after graduation, I received an offer for a teaching position, and I accepted. A tweet surfaced about a first year teacher shower and how that would be beneficial to 1st year teachers. Due to having a community on Twitter who supports me 110 percent of the way, they decided to support me in this new chapter of my journey. At first, I got a message from @SRyan3rdgrade who told me to pick out 25 dollars worth of items on eurekaschool.com. Due to wanting to do a Disney theme, I picked those out, and I received the items shortly after. Then, I had four amazing teachers (@Vegas3DKids, @RhondaStroud9, @hayes_melisa, and @msyoung114) donate 25 dollar gift cards on Amazon to help me get the materials I need for my classroom. Yesterday, I received about 20 books from @JackieNieukirk who is a principal from Peoria and knew that those books would be beneficial due to me starting my career. Shortly after that, one of the teachers who donated 25 dollars messaged me asking if it was okay if she would set up a gofundme on my behalf. I was speechless and said yes, and as of right now, four individuals have donated 20 dollars. I am speechless thinking about how blessed I truly am. I am spending my own money on classroom supplies, and as a new teacher, it is absolutely not an easy process, but I never thought that I would receive this much support. It reminds me that amazing people do exist who truly have a heart of gold. So much so that they are supporting a new teacher like me who they have never met in person. The teacher who set up the gofundme mentioned that she found me to be hopeful, caring, and very inspirational and can tell that I was meant to be a teacher. Of course, that means a lot, and as I was on a walk with my mom getting exercise later in the evening, as I was looking through the tweets, I began to have tears in my eyes because, although I always try to show kindness to others, I have never received this amount of kindness. I have been blessed by amazing individuals in my life such as former teachers, former professors, my parents, and others who have absolutely been kind to me, but this was a whole different way to show kindness because it made me overwhelmed with the support and genorisity. If you are reading this and are on Twitter, please take the time to thank the educators who are linked above and who have donated to help me out. Their support is incredible, and they leave me feeling hopeful, inspired, and wanting to give back and change the world one student at a time. Words cannot express how much gratitude I have for my #masterychat family. Rae Hughart, Jeff Gargas, Tiffany Ott, and Chad Ostowski have truly welcomed me in and have embraced me throughout my journey thus far. Last Thursday, I tweeted about how much this chat has meant to me, and on the Facebook live afterwards, Tiffany mentioned how the tweet gave her all the feels. To me, #masterychat is more than just one chat that happens every Thursday night at 7 PM. It is a PLN and, even better yet, a family of educators who continuously push me forward and inspire me to be better than I was the day before.
#MasteryChat has been a part of my journey since last May as a pre-service teacher and will continue to be a part of it as I embark on this journey as a teacher with this being my first year. This PLN has given me advice and has supported me through it all. I never feel alone, and I truly feel uplifted on a daily basis. I am blessed to have this dynamic group of educators on my side, and they are truly educational heroes. I am excited for my future, and what better way to start this new blog with a post about the virtual PLN that started everything for me? To conclude, I am blessed beyond measure, and I am so thankful for the hard work that these amazing individuals mentioned above bring to this chat on a weekly basis. Their passion, love for teaching, and love for what they do inspires me to do the same. They are all number one in my book and deserve an endless amount of gratitude. |
AuthorMy name is Susan, and I will be starting my first year of teaching this year. Archives
December 2018
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