After having a rough day last Wednesday, I thought back to the power of reflection and how I want to get my thoughts down. During student teaching and my first year, I tried to be reflective as much as possible, and it paid off because, now, I get to look back at my entries and see how far I have grown. I am going to try to reflect on a daily basis after work for 10 - 15 minutes and post an entry on how things went during that day.
I had a rough day on Wednesday which consisted of a lot of tears, and it was mainly due to realizing something was not working in my classroom. I felt like my students had the expectations down, but I did not have much of a whole class reward established. I realized, after talking to one of my amazing admins, that I needed to review expectations and be more consistent. The week prior to last week was rough on me, and I cried in my car 2 days that week. I knew then that I had to change something, and I decided to change the seating pattern. I had my students in groups, but I decided that I wanted to try out a "U" shape. After a few days of trying it out, I am liking it a lot because I get to see my students and make sure that they are all following along with me prior to moving on. I bought dry erase circles to put on my table in the back so that I can pull a small group and have quick access to dry erase boards. So far, things are a lot smoother, but I am continuing to reflect and making tweaks to how I have established procedures in my classroom. I want my students to have a positive experience and one that is highly structured as well, so that is what I am currently working on. I know that reflecting will help me think through each day and will help me become a better educator because reflection allows me to problem solve and think through multiple solutions.
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I realized I haven't been writing as much as I used to, and a lot of that is because of how busy I have been. I am loving my 6th graders this year, and I haven't shared this as much, so this may get a little personal, but last year was hard on me. I ended up losing my job around April when my principal let me know that I would be laid off due to my position getting cut. I remember breaking down in my classroom during the phone call and continuing to cry in the car while taking to my parents about it being official. Even thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes because I just finished my 1st year, and it was hard for me to regain my passion and enthusiasm.
After I thought this through, I started applying for positions everywhere in Illinois, and I did not hear back for a while leaving me feeling worried and fearful about my future as a teacher. I remember crying one day because I wanted to teach so badly and find a new position. About a week before school ended last year, I had an interview and got a phone call saying that they were impressed and wanted to hire me. The funny thing was that, the day before my previous school got out, I was sobbing to my colleagues because I still did not have a position and was terrified about not teaching. I accepted the offer a few hours after, and I was smiling from ear to ear the next day. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason, and at the time, I was not believing in that because I felt like my world around me was crashing down. I remember feeling lost and upset because I tried to be this positive force, and I felt like I was so far away from that. Flashforward to this year, and I now see that things began to fall into place. I am so much happier this year than last year, and that could be because of experience but also because I have so much more support. My district is truly amazing. Of course, I have tough days too, but I feel appreciated and valued as an educator. The reason I shared this is because we all go through tough times, and, for a while, I was distant on Twitter because I was trying to figure this all out. I know that I am meant to teach because I truly felt hurt last year, and it was hard for me to imagine myself not teaching for a year. I know that my journey has just begun last year, but I am blessed to be able to hopefully impact new teachers and share my story. I am about to start my 2nd year of teaching, and I am excited, but I am also nervous about what to expect. I know that being a teacher is an absolute privilege. I love what I do, but that does not mean that every single day is a breeze. I recently saw a quote that said "If you are worried about being a good teacher, chances are you already are.", and that resonated with me. I look at teachers that I follow who truly seem to have it all together, but when I look closer, I realize that they are vulnerable just like me and fall down sometimes too.
Things I worry about
I know that I have had obstacles in my way before, and thankfully, I got through them with hard work and perseverance. I have a platform on Twitter which I am grateful for, but I am not perfect, and I worry too. My hope is that, by sharing this post, I can assure other newer teachers that they are not alone. Our fears and worries are as real as they can be, but I know, for a fact, that we can rise above them and come out stronger. After all, our students deserve REAL teachers just like @taramartin has said frequently. I strive to be a REAL teacher for my students because they truly deserve a teacher who cares endlessly, makes mistakes but learns from them, and always cheers them on. As the school year is quickly approaching, I have been thinking a lot about my future students. I am so excited to meet a new group of students who will truly become part of my second family within the walls of my classroom. I have decided to write this letter to let my students know how excited I am to be alongside them in their own personal journeys.
Dear students, Welcome to our classroom. This year, you will learn a lot about math, but you will also grow as a student and as a learner. I know that middle school can be a trying time, but I want you to know that, if you ever need anything, I'm always one knock on the door away. I remember my own middle-school experience and how I truly valued the teachers that I had. They were there to cheer me on during my good and bad days. You are going to grow a lot, and I promise that, by your 8th grade year, you will be shocked at how much you have grown. Please always remember who is there for you and the individuals who want to help you grow. You are loved, cared for, and supported. Sure, some days will be a little difficult, and you will feel like not trying again. Please don't give up because, just by trying, you are showing yourself that you will persevere through any obstacle. I promise you will accomplish whatever goal you have as long as you keep on swimming. In my classroom, as you will soon figure out, I view failing as the first attempt in learning. I am not expecting you to be perfect. We will be doing a lot of growth mindset activities that will push your thinking further. Trust me, when I say, you will struggle a little, and that is okay and expected. It just shows me that you are making those connections. Learning can be messy at times, but that is part of the fun. In fact, mistakes are celebrated in my classroom because we can all learn from them. Also, I know that you may be nervous on the first few days. Just like you are nervous about coming to a brand new school, I am right there with you due to being new to the school as well. We will learn a lot and value the memories that we make this year. Sincerely, Ms. Jachymiak |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
April 2024
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