I saw a post on facebook about a child being a "feeler". That meant that the child felt things to an extreme and was more sensitive than her peers. After reading what her mother wrote, I thought back on my life and realized that I, too, am a feeler. I have always been introverted and preferred to read rather than talk to people. To me, it was a safe haven and gave me the opportunity to play a movie in my head. With being a person who was reserved and felt things on a deeper level, I struggled with saying no to others and was always trying to make everybody around me happy. I loved making people smile and still do to this day. One person I knew told me that needing to lift others up can be draining. That struck me the wrong way, and I remember breaking down in my room afterwards because, here I was, a young woman who always strived to lift others up when it felt like others did not do the same for me. It can be hard feeling like your acts of kindness are not appreciated, but I also know, deep in my heart, that an act of kindness is never wasted. I just wish I could see how many people I made smile because of a word or a phrase I mentioned because I really do think my perspective would change.
I made my professor an online card full of messages from former students, and he said "few people rarely get the opportunity to see the impact they have on others (while they are alive), and today I got to see just that with what you did/ created for me. He also said that a student has never done anything like that for him before. In that moment, when I read those words, I had tears in my eyes because I realized that I did something kind for someone and gave him the greatest gift of all- knowing that he mattered. We all want to feel valued and acknowledged, and I wish we could all see the impact we make in others lives because I bet it would be life changing. I remember thinking that the positive relationships I try to build are one sided, but I later realized that was not the case. As a teacher, I try my hardest to seek out those quiet and introverted students. I was one of them, and I understand how it feels. To me, it felt like I was lost in a sea of people. Honestly, if it were not for my teachers who paved the way for me, I would not be who or where I am today. I had friends growing up, but I never felt like I fit in due to being introverted and studious. I loved the teachers I had in middle school and high school, but I oftentimes felt like I did not belong, and that breaks my heart. I do not want anybody to feel that way, and although we had many clubs and organizations, I never felt like I fit into one of those crowds. The reason that I mention all the above is because I heard something today at our institute day, and it stuck with me. It takes one caring educator to change a student's life. All we need to do is care, and although that is easier said than done at times, it made me pause and reflect and think back to the adolescent I used to be navigating life. As an adolescent, I was timid, and being able to reflect now, I wish I knew that things would work out. I cried over doing poorly on an exam, and I was bullied in middle school due to being friends with a girl who was different than others. I stuck by her side and ended up getting paper thrown at me. That was one snapshot of my middle school experience, but I strongly believe that moment stuck with me for a reason, I remember not wanting to tell my teachers about it, but my friend ended up doing so, and that teacher stepped in and made a difference. Now, as a student teacher, I have already had the opportunity to step in and intervene conflicts. As a teacher, an issue may not seem like a big deal, but to a student, that issue is everything at that moment. If we take a deep breath, we may be able to find a little grace and understand things from our students point of view. I have been feeling sick for the past few days, and I have been trying to work on my EDTPA, grade, and lesson plan while trying to regain my energy. At the institute day, we were given a marble to keep so that we can look back on it when we feel like we are losing our marbles. Teaching is a balancing act, and although I always want to drop everything and do things for others, I need to realize that I am not giving myself the care that I need. A teacher on Twitter sent me a private message a few days ago which said that. while kids deserve it, I do too. When I felt burnt out last semester and was sick, my peer told me that I cannot be a light in others lives if my light is burnt out. That stuck with me to this day and made me realize that I was not doing anyone a favor by not letting myself recover. As someone mentioned to me in a tweet, it is hard when we slow down but life does not. I am thankful for my PLN who inspires me to be transparent and reflective. I owe a lot them, and I would not be half the educator I am today without their constant love and support. They keep me going on those difficult days and make me realize that I am loved, valued, and acknowledged, I want ALL my students to feel the same way.
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Yesterday was a rough day for educators. We all love our students dearly and cannot imagine what the families in Florida have to be going through right now. My heart breaks for the innocent lives lost.
As teachers, we need each other to uplift and support. I am grateful to have a support system on Twitter that has truly changed my life. I have hosted two chats thus far, and I will be hosting two more in May. Due to connecting on Twitter, my dreams began to expand due to realizing my unlocked potential. I feel called to be a teacher, and when I walked in this morning and heard my students speak about what happened, it began to hit me. Each of our schools is a community, and we rely on this community to get through those tough days that occur once in a while. The event that happened yesterday reaffirmed my desire to love deeply and to truly care about my students as individuals. It is sad that it takes a major event for people to realize that things need to change, and due to myself being a sensitive individual and a person who cares a lot, yesterday has been weighing heavily on my heart. I got to school today, and a teacher on my team was not feeling well. I talked to her, and she thanked me for my kindness. It brightened my day, and that reaffirmed how important it is to take time out of your day to talk to others. We never know what battles other people are fighting. As a teacher, it can be easy to lock yourself in your room during lunch and just work on planning, grading, and all the other responsibilities that come with being a teacher, and to be honest, I do that from time to time due to needing time to recharge. The truth is I hold on in hopes of a change occurring, and I realized that the change had to begin with me. We have the potential to change lives, and that is something that I take pride in. Just this week, I emailed a parent a positive email home, and a few hours later, I found out that the email I sent was shared on Facebook. The student was struggling in regards to adjusting to middle school, and that email meant a lot to the family. A person truly never knows how one small action can make an impact. On those days when I question whether or not I am on the right path, I think about my PLN and the passion that I do have. I may not be perfect, but I love my students, and I am willing to help them in anyway possible. While I am young, I have things to offer, and I never feel alone. Many pre-service teachers feel like they have a lot on their plates which is true because they do. I have EDTPA coming up, but I still go on Twitter to connect and recharge. When I feel lost and am doubting myself, I get messages from teachers that reaffirm that I am on the right path. Those messages along the lines of "I see you, and I know what you are going through" mean so much to a young teacher like me who is imperfect and has a lot to learn. Having a lot to learn is part of the fun of teaching. I am young, and I do not have a lot of experience, but I have a thirst for knowledge, a passion for teaching, and an amazing PLN who supports me 110 %. I consider me to be one lucky teacher who desires to live up to the amazing educators I have met. For the longest time, my dream has been to become a teacher and impact lives just like my teachers have impacted mine. Due to being close to fulfilling that dream, I realized that I needed to add new goals for myself to reach. We had the pleasure of having a speaker come to our school yesterday, and she mentioned a vision board. My vision board always consisted of becoming a teacher, but that vision has expanded ever since I joined Twitter.
Every single teacher on Twitter inspires me to become a better educator and truly be the one for my students. Although I am young, I have been fortunate to grow a virtual PLN who has my back and uplifts me on a daily basis. Ever since I joined Twitter, I wanted to inspire other pre-service teachers to connect globally just like I have been doing. I got my student teaching cohort to join Twitter, and I even had the opportunity to host two chats thus far with another two chats being hosted by me in May. I love seeing young teachers join in, and I even got my cooperating teacher to join in as well. That, to me, intensifies the connection between a CT and a teacher candidate. We communicate virtually online and bring that positivity back into our classroom. I have no idea what the future holds, but I plan on staying true to myself and still remaining the kind person that I hope others see me as. No matter what I accomplish, it does not matter if I lose myself in the process. I want to leave the world better than I found it, and in order to do that, I need to care. Right now, my focus is on passing EDTPA and obtaining a middle school math teaching position. After a few years, I plan on obtaining my Masters and possibly my Doctorate so that I could be a college professor and mentor future teachers. I also have a dream of attending conferences and speaking out the importance of connection on social media, and in addition, I would like to write a book that would get published by the Dave Burgess Publishing company. I realize I have many goals, but I do give 110%, and I know that, if I am fueled by my passion, these goals may become a reality for me. Many of you have heard the quote "doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will", and I strongly resonate with it. Just last week, I was doubting in myself and my abilities. Of course, teaching is never the same day in and day out, but that, to me, is part of the journey.
On Monday, after reading a few chapters of "The Wild Card", I decided to utilize flipgrid and have my students film themselves explaining how to model a division problem with fractions. My students were reluctant at first, but after a while, they began to ask if they can go in the hallway, and I was genuinely pleased with the videos. The students took it seriously, and they asked if I can do one again in the near future. On Tuesday and Wednesday, I utilized direct instruction and had students take notes. I really enjoyed Tuesday because we had a challenge where we had to leave a kind note for someone else to find. My students put notes on each others lockers and around the school along with giving notes to teachers and the administration. I received at least ten notes that gave me that warm and fuzzy feeling, and I also spent time writing a note to each student in my class and placing it on their backpack while they were taking a quiz. I loved seeing the smile on their faces when they realized, and I genuinely never smiled more in a day than I did that day. On Thursday, I did an escape room with my regular students which was a great experience. My CT sent me a link to the activity, and I decided to try it out. Due to being inspired by Rae Hughart, I knew the power of engaging students and the impact that it can have. I turned off the lights and read the background story. Afterwards, I set the timer on the screen and had the students work at different stations to discover one digit of the five digit puzzle. The students asked me for hints, and they really bought in. They worked hard, and I even ended up losing track of time due to being immersed in the activity. I did have two students who had to sit out due to not being able to handle the activity, but for the most part, I got positive feedback, and the students enjoyed it. Due to thinking of implementing this activity the night before, I knew that I could have improved in certain areas if I had more time. I feel like it was hard for me to figure out the transitioning, and that caused a little bit of chaos due to certain groups finishing and not having a station to go to. I know this could be fixed by having multiple copies of each station at each table. I also feel like some of the directions were vague, so if I were to do this activity again, I would write step by step directions in regards to how to solve each individual puzzle. I plan on doing this activity on Monday again as an end to our unit, so I will make those necessary changes to enhance this activity. I also had my second observation which went well overall, but the one thing I am still working on is techniques to quiet down a classroom due to my students being talkative. On Friday, I was at school for four hours and then had an EDTPA meeting which was beneficial. The amazing teachers on Twitter have been providing me with much needed support and reassurance that I am on the right track. I can honestly say that this week was one of those weeks where I took risks and saw those risks pay off. I make mistakes, and I am by far not perfect, but I do take time to reflect due to knowing that I do not want to settle for anything less than my best. Our students deserve great teachers, and due to the fact that my former teachers never gave up on me, I owe that level of dedication and commitment to my stduents. Student teaching is tiring and tough at times, but my heart has never been more full. I am excited for my future and am excited to start applying for teaching positions in the near future. I know that I will continue to be the one for students, and I know that I will look back on this blog one day and realize how far I truly have come. This blog is an honest look of what I have experienced and the thoughts running through my head, but it keeps me focused on improving and makes me realize that it is okay to be vulnerable. Each and every single day, I reaffirm my desire to teach, and I feel like I was born to be a teacher. I do not want to let that passion go away, and I know that I am passionate about teaching for a reason. Twitter allows me to keep that flame burning, and I am constantly amazed by my PLN. Yes, doubt can kill more dreams than failure ever will, and although it is natural to have doubts from time to time, my doubts center on whether or not I will be an effective educator and if I have what it takes. Those doubts have made me break down due to not wanting to do anything else with my life. At those moments of weakness, I found a light at the end of my tunnel, and that light has been engaging on Twitter and finding an amazing support system. I will make mistakes, and I will fail, but I know, in my heart, that I do have a passion for kids and that I am willing to fight the good fight, I hope my future students will be lucky to have me as a teacher, and I hope I can offer them more than they will offer me. Middle school students are great to work with, and although some days are more difficult than others, i am surrounded by the love that my students give me. I am blessed to be an educator. This week, overall, went a lot smoother.
Monday On Monday, I taught my regular math students how to add/subtract fractions with unlike denominators, and for my advanced class, I taught them how to divide fractions using the standard algorithm. Tuesday On Tuesday, I reviewed the homework and taught the students how to multiply fractions, and for my advanced class, the students took a quiz on dividing fractions. Wednesday On Wednesday, I taught my regular math students how to multiply mixed numbers, and for my advanced class, I taught them how to model division with mixed numbers. Thursday On Thursday, I had a slightly rough day. The substitute and I were struggling with our first hour, and during our team meeting, a teacher on my team was telling me how students in her class would never to think to act that way and how I do have the power in me to control a class. I broke down, and she comforted me and said how she knows that I do have it in me. She also said that the students respect me and how they do notice that I am being treated unfairly. After she yelled at my class a few days ago, one student wrote me a note saying how she apologizes for the misbehavior of certain students in the class and how I do not deserve to be treated that way. Of course, the note made my day. I emailed her parents about what she did, and the parents were happy to see that I acknowledged her kindness. In math, I taught how to multiply mixed numbers, and due to wanting to show my students how fractions can apply to real life, I found a worksheet on teacherspayteachers about cookie fractions, and I had students multiply the serving size by how many people were in their group. The students seemed to enjoy this activity, and they even wanted to actually make the cookies. My lesson went well, and I had a good day after our team meeting. I realized that I needed to change something, and I spent my lunch hour talking to the science teacher on my team who was supportive and said that I have to find my own classroom management style because what works for the teacher next door will not work for me. I know that I do not want to yell due to seeing how that changes the classroom climate in an instant, but I am starting to find my own way. I am a gentle person with a kind heart, and although I thought that did not have value and my students were not noticing me choosing kind, I realized I was wrong. The student who wrote me the note mentioned how I teach her how to be kind and gentle. Our students do look up to us as role models, and as the science teacher on my team said, the beauty of working on a team involves the different personalities. She told me that I acknowledge students who the other teachers do not necessarily do due to looking for those quiet students who tend to be overlooked. Thursday night, I had the pleasure of hosting #masterychat, and that reignited my passion for teaching. One of my professors joined the chat along with my former CT, my current CT, and a former teacher. It was amazing to see the support I have as a pre-service teacher, and pre-service teachers from other states joined as well which was amazing to see. Friday On Friday, I had a much better day, and I noticed that my students were beginning to have more respect for me. I know that respect is earned and not given, and I do give respect to all of my students. After going home that evening, I decided to purchase "The Wild Card" due to wanting to engage my students. With math, I have just been lecturing and giving worksheets which is not how I want to teach. I used manipulatives during math due to knowing that these students need that hands on activity, and they enjoyed figured out how many parts go into a whole. After seeing that engagement, I felt inspired to do that on a daily basis. I will be a first year teacher next year, and I do not want my students to feel bored in my class due to that leading to classroom management issues. I want my students to know that I care, and I want them to look forward to coming to my class. I am continuously inspired by Rae Hughart who teaches further on a daily basis and has her students participate in internships. I know that this takes a lot of time on her part, but if this is the direction that I would like to go in one day, I am thinking of trying out one unit next year and comparing test scores to see if it benefits my students. I am not afraid to take a risk and try something different especially if it benefits my students who deserve an amazing education. Right now, it is hard to transform the way I teach due to doing what my CT tends to do, but I am lucky to have an amazing CT who lets me use nearpod, plickers, quizizz, and other forms of technology to see if that is something I would like to utilize in the future. Technology is a great resource but only if it serves a purpose. As a student teacher, I know I have a unique situation, but even though it is hard right now to plan lessons, manage behaviors, and take on the roles of a full time teacher, I am so thankful because I know that everything happens for a reason. Although I have a long way to go, I know I have an amazing support system on Twitter, and I know that I will be okay because of that. I do have a passion for teaching, and I just have to make sure that I maintain that passion and keep that fire burning. This week, I plan on being more reflective, and due to having my second observation, I look forward to obtaining the feedback that I need in order to grow. Teaching is never the same day in and day out, but that is part of the journey. I have already sent positive emails home, nominated two students for a positive office referral, and I continue to work hard to ensure that my students are learning the material. I am continuously striving to be a better version of myself, and I learned that it okay to make mistakes. I was reading "Hacking Classroom Management" last night, and I really liked the daily bellringers. On Monday, I may try to have students tell me one fun things they did over the weekend due to the author emphasizing to start and end the period by keeping the individual in mind. I want my students to know I care about them as individuals. As a teacher, I cannot turn my brain off, and I do genuinely care about my students. I am not the type of teacher who leaves work at home, but I also find time to take a break and recharge even for only a few minutes. This week, I plan to be more organized and really focus on strengthening that relationship with my students. As a pre-service teacher, I am constantly looking for ways to grow as an educator. I had to reassess myself a few times thus far, and I realized that I became discouraged due to falling into a trap- that trap of comparison and feeling inadequate. Due to wanting to do something different in the classroom and wanting to go beyond worksheets, I decided to read "The Wild Card" by Wade & Hope King. Since I began reading it about half an hour ago, my mind already went in a million directions, and I found myself wanting to write a blog. I still need to continue reading, but I wanted to share my thoughts thus far.
As a young child, I was inspired by multiple teachers, and even in college, I continue to be inspired by my professors. As a student teacher, my former teachers paved the way for my success, but I found an even bigger blessing, and that includes my colleagues who I work with. These individuals have pushed me beyond my wildest dreams, and they are always willing to talk and support me on those occasional rough days. They show me the importance of having a strong support system, and I am beyond grateful for their support in this first phase of my journey. I work with an amazing literature teacher who was discussing poker chips today and how a person presented on these poker chips at a conference. She mentioned how our students have baggage, and each poker chip resembles a teacher yelling at a student about a pencil or homework when that student could have been staying up all night helping his/her family. I learn new things about my students on a daily basis, and my heart truly pours out in my classroom I do think about my students a lot because, as a teacher they truly become a part of my heart. Yes, while the reality of education is becoming clear to me in regards to the many demands placed on teachers, I know one thing, I will not settle for anything less than my best, and I will continue to push myself to create meaningful learning experiences for my students because they deserve it. I am okay with being a little crazy, and I want to make sure that I can be a wild card for them. I just hope that, when my students think of me, they think of a teacher who genuinely cared and aimed to inspire. I may be a pre-service teacher with doubts and uncertainties, but I have a clear vision and constantly reflect on my reason why. I have to constantly remind myself that I should not settle for ordinary, and I should do better if I know better. I feel like time has been my biggest issue due to each day going by so fast and not having enough time to reinvent the wheel and make those changes. Starting today, I am going to okay with being vulnerable and start being more open to new experiences. After all, as a teacher, I am the only one getting paid to do something different. Our kids deserve our best on a daily basis. This week was my first full week. Monday On Monday, in my regular math class, we just revisited the exit slips, and for homework, the students had a review. In my accelerated math class, we practiced dividing fractions. Due to dividing fractions using modeling which was something that I had no experience with, I spent Saturday and Sunday trying to figure out how to teach it so that it made sense to my students. I learned how important it is to reach out for help, and my twitter PLN came to my rescue. I tweeted a message using #mtbos and reached out to former professors as well. This helped me understand the modeling component, and by working together alongside my students, we were able to better grasp the topic at hand. Tuesday On Tuesday, in my regular math class, the students took their unit 2 part 2 assessment. In my accelerated math class, I had the students complete an exit slip on modeling division of fractions so that I can see where my students were at during that point in time. Many of my students understood how to divide a fraction, but I knew they needed more practice in regards to modeling. The thing that made my day was that a student came up to me and told me that he got sent to the principals office, and although he was a little confused, he later realized that it was a good thing. I nominated him for a positive office referral, and he said that his parents got contacted.. Later that day, I sent two positive emails home and received an email back from one of the parents who said that I mean a lot to his daughter and even explained how he is so proud of her. On those days when teaching can be tiring, it is crucial to find those bits of gold that keep a teacher going. Wednesday On Wednesday, my regular math students took a fraction pre-test so that I could get a better idea of the background knowledge they already have. With the results of these pre-tests, I plan on figuring out which students may need differentiation due to not wanting certain students to feel bored in class. It is important for us as teachers to modify our instruction to suit the needs of our students. In my accelerated math class, the students were practicing how to write word problems that represented a division problem. The students were learning that in, for example, the problem 3/4 divided by 1/8, it meant how many groups of 1/8 fit into 3/4. Although the word problems were new to the students due to figuring out how to word the situations, they were making progress. Thursday Thursday was my roughest day due to behavioral reasons. During my first hour, the students were supposed to be working on their paragraphs of the week which they did, but a group of students decided to take advantage of both the substitute and myself. The group of students all took out their phones which they are not allowed to have in class. They are allowed to have them in their backpacks, but they must be hidden and out of sight. Well, these students decided to all take out their phones and put them face down on their desk while waiting for me to notice. Due to being busy helping students and answering questions, I did not notice right away, but once I did and told the students to put the phones away, a student remarked to me that the group was just waiting to see how long it would take for me to notice. I know that, for these students, the inconsistency may be difficult, but that act did hurt me due to the fact that actions can oftentimes speak louder than words. I have been in the classroom since August and have been working hard to teach my students, but I also realized that these students were testing the limits which is normal. I brushed away that incident for a while questioning whether or not I did the right thing, but I also did not want to engage in a power struggle with my students. During the team meeting, I told my team teachers about what happened, and one of my team teachers said that what they did made her angry and that they would never do such a thing in the other classes. To be honest, that made me feel incompetent, but I realized that I am just beginning my journey as a teacher. She was debating on having a team meeting with all of the students to make sure that they knew the expectations. Even though we did not have time to do that, she still pulled one of the students who was a part of that phone incident and talked to her in the hallway. She said that what she was doing was mean and that she did not view her as a leader. This student is one who has been giving me quite a hard time, and I do care about her, but I really do think her behavior is starting to have a role in terms of her academics, and her academics is something I care strongly about. The teacher also told this student that I will be a teacher and that I am in the process of learning how to do that, and the way she is acting is disrespectful to me. The student replied by saying that she did not realize she was doing that and began to be upset. I genuinely want the best for this student, and I invest a lot of time into planning and grading as all teachers do. It just hurt me to see that these students were just trying to take advantage. In addition, I also got observed during 8th hour, and when I called on a student to answer a question, the student said that he did not want to answer, but he said it in a disrespectful tone. At first, I did not know how to respond, but I decided to call on another student. My students behaved well, and we got through all I had planned. During the post conference with my supervisor who knew what I have been dealing with, he just said that the one student who replied that way made me look bad. I did take his feedback to heart, but I also struggled with knowing how the way my student acted was a reflection on me. After a rough day, I went on #masterychat which was genuinely the highlight of my day and the break that I needed to remind myself of the passion that I do have for teaching. I was ecstatic to be mentioned in the facebook live after and look forward to being the guest moderator of the chat on 2/1 at 7 pm. I invited my team to join and even emailed former teachers who stated that they were proud of me. Sometimes, we all need a little pick me up, and mastery chat was mine. I also received a note that the mom of the student who I nominated was crying when she heard the message. It reminded me that I am making a difference even if I do not always realize it. Friday On Friday, the substitute left during lunch due to her mom not doing well. I had a different substitute, and I am not sure if she will be back next week. I know that, in hindsight, I will appreciate this experience, but, at the moment, sometimes, it does feel like I have a lot to juggle. My supervisor, on Thursday, was concerned due to being worried that this was too much, but I told him that I was doing fine, and although I have a few rough days in between, overall, I feel a lot more confident for my first year of teaching and beyond. My regular math students learned how to subtract decimals, and my accelerated math students took a quiz. After talking to my team about my post observation conference, they said that the comment made by that one student did not make me look bad but rather made the student look bad. I did not break down this week and really do feel like I have more authority. I passed back the quizzes to my students, and although I was upset by the scores, I realized that these students are trying their best for the most part. I did say that I was a little disappointed by some of the scores and also asked them if they studied. I had the majority of the students raise their hand that they did study while others were honest and said that they did not have the time to do so. One student asked if she could go in the hallway to fill out the retake form due to not wanting other students to see her filling it out. This broke my heart because I understood how she felt. I let her go out in the hallway, but it made me realize that, even though we use SBG, the students still compete with one another in a sense. I never want my classroom to be one where students are upset by a score, and I want them to celebrate their victories no matter how small they are. I had a student get a 2, and she was happy due to it being a step in the right direction. For me, a 1 and a 2 seem weak due to knowing that my students can obtain a 3. I had to take a step back and reevaluate my personal idea of success for my students. Although my students did struggle with this topic, they worked hard and sincerely tried their best. I am going in on Monday and emphasizing a growth mindset. I have already had a few students fill out the retake form due to wanting to improve which makes me happy to see that they know they can do better. Something that may seem like failure to us, as educators, is a success for our students, and we should acknowledge that. Here I was, somewhat beating myself up over these scores when, in reality, these scores were ones that some students were proud of due to knowing that they struggled but got that far. We are all at different places, and we, as teachers, should remember that, even though, it may take some of our students longer, they are still making progress. After this week, I realized that I do have an impact and that I should continue to spread kindness as much as possible. Although some behaviors of my students discouraged me a little bit, I realized that I had to be more stern while remaining loving. I am a work in progress, but I am all about my students and their success. I hope I am perceived as a caring educator by my students, and I hope I can make them as proud as I am of them. As I look back on my reason why I became a teacher, one thing rings true. I would not be where I am without the teachers who pushed me to become the best I can be. They are my reason why. In their classes, I felt inspired and saw teachers who gave endlessly never knowing if their hard work would mean something, but I am a living testament that it did.
Because of the teachers I had who fought the good fight in elementary school, middle school, high school, and college, I am motivated to inspire and hopefully make a difference in the lives of my students. Now, this journey is not easy, and I have learned that thus far, but it is immensely rewarding. When a student who struggles does great on a quiz, it makes my heart happy. When I send positive emails to parents and get a reply that makes me realize I make a difference, it makes my heart happy. Those moments make the tears that occasionally come with this profession and stress worth it for me. The thing I keep in mind is the fact that my teachers never gave up on me, and because of that, I owe that level of dedication to my students. I have been inspired by countess educators who saw a shy student before their eyes and did not let me settle than anything less than my best. They encouraged me and continue to keep in to touch with me to this day and provide me with much needed advice and encouragement. My teachers will always have a special place in my heart, and I teach because I was inspired by great teachers so I get that we do everyday truly matters. Do not forget that you could be the reason why someone wants to become a teacher in the future, and I promise that the seeds you harvest will bloom. As a pre-service teacher, I only hope that I can make my former teachers proud. They left a footprint on my heart and touched my life in more ways than one. I genuinely want to give back because I would not be who or where I am today without them. Tuesday On Tuesday, I taught LCM word problems to two of my classes and, in my two accelerated courses, the students took an exit slip and learned how to multiply fractions. It was a good day back after the long weekend. Wednesday My 1st hour on Wednesday was chatty due to it being language arts and them mainly writing a rough draft. I found myself trying to make a deal with them that, based on how quiet they were, I would decide whether or not they would need to finish the rough draft by today. Towards the end, I realized that I should have been more consistent in regards to when the rough draft was due. I found myself changing the date numerous times due to wanting to be flexible, and while I think that is important, I should have chosen a date for the rough drafts to be due and hold my students accountable. After 1st hour, I did an LCM review, and I taught multiplying mixed numbers to my accelerated class. I thought like, overall, things went fine in regards to teaching the content, and after asking the students for expectations for both themselves and myself as a teacher, my students in 8th hour were a lot better and gave me honest feedback including the fact that I needed to be more strict. The last thing I want to do is not be able to effectively manage a classroom, and although it has been difficult due to my CT being out, I knew that I had to take initiative and show the students that I am in charge. After the students signed the contract, I felt like things were a lot better in class. I told the class that I do have some students who always do the right thing and that I sincerely appreciated that. After I taught, I had a conference with the substitute teacher who said that I was doing well but said that I was not being fair to myself. He told me that no one could say that I did not work hard, and he said that, if he graded my passion and preparation on an SBG scale, I would get a 4. When the substitute said that I was not being fair to myself, I broke down because I have been struggling with the behaviors of my students for the past week. I genuinely care about my students and was spending countless hours grading and preparing for the next day. He took note of that and said that I needed to take Wednesday afternoon off to recharge. I listened to that advice, and after going to church Wednesday night due to that being my way to recharge and find peace, I felt a lot better and also regained my energy. I reached out to former teachers who gave me advice, and I also reached out to my amazing Twitter PLN who helped me out as well during that difficult moment when I was questioning whether or not I am on the right path. My biggest blessing however were two emails I received later that night. A teacher on my team emailed me "First of all, I want to tell you that I think that you are doing a wonderful job! Kids care about you and speak so kindly of you! I know that you put in hours of work constantly trying to find strategies and new approaches!", and she also wrote " When your CT realized that she was going to have this surgery and be gone for so long, did you notice that every one of the team teachers said something about how lucky we were to have you? Everyone believes in you!! This profession is so complicated and just really hard sometimes!" I was grateful for this message, and later, I received an email back from a parent who I emailed about her son due to her son being positive in class and a hard worker. She mentioned that "he has been coming home since break saying how he is so lucky to have you filling in for his teacher while she is out. Please know that you are making a difference and are doing a great job! He really appreciates the extra time you are taking to explain these recent difficult topics!", and she also wrote "I’m sure Student Teaching is stressful and you can often be unsure but please know how well you’re doing and how appreciated you are!". This email came at the perfect time because I was doubting myself and wondering if I have what it takes to make a difference. Thursday On Thursday, I did things a little differently, and the substitute and I co-taught which took the pressure off me a little bit and made me realize the joys of teaching once again. He taught me tricks on the smart board, and we got to laugh with the students as well. The most important thing I learned on that day was that I had to be flexible and things do not always go according to plan. Friday On Friday, things went well, although, due to the other substitute coming back, the students were adjusting. They were chatty once again, and I found myself feeling drained at the end of the day, but recently, I looked at a quiz by a student who has been struggling all year. I noticed that she obtained a 3 on her latest quiz, and I honestly feel like I am going to cry tears of joy due to seeing this student achieve success. It is amazing how much these students mean to me already and how they truly become a part of my heart. Although I questioned myself, my former teachers and my PLN on Twitter reaffirmed that teaching is indeed my calling. Although, as teachers, we can oftentimes feel tired, run down, and exhausted, those moments when students connect with you or a struggling student does well on an assessment means the world. Let us continue to find light in our daily profession and share those moments with others. Teaching is never the same day in and day out, but this profession is immensely rewarding. I am blessed to be a teacher and am excited to see how the rest of the semester goes. I still have a long way to go, but I am working hard and thinking of strategies. The inconsistency could be a reason why my students are testing my limits, but I did begin to be more strict and noticed a change in my students. We were able to learn and have fun while doing so on Thursday, and that was a day that I will remember. This weekend, I plan on catching up on grading and uploading the answer keys to exit slips, notes, and homework assignments on Google Classroom so that the students know where to look when they do miss a day of school and so that it can be accessible if students are confused and need to check over their work. I also plan on getting more organized due to needing structure and realizing that teaching goes a lot better when that is the case. Tuesday Today was my first day of student teaching, and overall, it went well. I taught four periods and got the opportunity to make two imprints for both my CT and another teacher on my team. I used nearpod which the students enjoyed, and I did struggle in terms of getting their attention due to my students talking over me. This particular group of students is chatty, and I have been trying techniques to quiet them down, but I need to continue to work on this in order to find one that truly works. After school, I broke down due to questioning whether or not I would be a successful teacher. I know that it is the first day after break, so that could be why my students were particularly talkative today. I know that I have to focus on the positives. I did smile, and I did manage to focus on continuing to build those positive relationships. I have faith that tomorrow will be a better day. Wednesday went a lot better for me. I continued to teach four periods, and I genuinely felt like my students were engaged. On Thursday, the students were well behaved as well, and I remember walking out of my classroom feeling like I had a good day. I began to implement classcraft and had one of my periods try it out to see if this is something I would like to use next year in my classroom. So far, I felt like this truly engaged my students who enjoy video games due to them explaining all the components of the game and wanting to level up. I find my students asking me if they would earn or lose points, and, although I want my students to focus on positive behaviors, I am not focused too much on the points at this point. I want them to be intrinsically motivated, but I feel like I needed to try something in order to motivate my students to treat as a teacher. I will continue to reflect on my experience with classcraft as the semester progresses. On Friday, the students were talkative due to it being the end of the first week and having a three day weekend. I was able to teach my lessons in all my classes, but during 3rd hour, I had a student who started to cry due to not understanding a math problem and claiming that it was impossible. I worked with him after class, and he managed to obtain the answer with an appropriate amount of scaffolding. I also had another student who was disrespectful to me towards the end of the period and, due to not wanting to engage in a power battle, I let him go to lunch and plan on talking to him after class on Tuesday about the choices he made. This particular student moved his seat without being told to due to his peers distracting him, and I asked him to work on the exit slip which he did not seem interested in completing. He refused for a while until I walked away to calm myself down, and he began to work on it again. Then, after class, he started to open up to me and told me that his peers distracted him which is when I told him that he should have said something to me. He responded "well, you wouldn't have done anything anyway" which made me feel incompetent. My mentor teacher was not in the room, and I felt tears forming, but I held them in due to knowing that he might have something else going on in his life. I want to help my students, but I cannot read minds which is why I wish he would have told me earlier about this situation so that I could let those students know that they were distracting him from learning. During my second to last hour of the day, my projector turned off ten minutes before the end of the period, and I had to adjust my lesson. I had a nearpod made, so I just decided to not utilize it and did the problems on the whiteboard. It was hard for my students to pay attention, and I mentioned how I have a soft spoken voice. The last thing I want is for my students to not be able to learn due to myself not being able to control a class effectively. In my classes, I have a few students who seek attention, and these are the students who I strongly believe need me to care. I need to remember that my students have a lot going on in their lives, and because of that, I want to teach from the heart. I am just starting out, and my mentor teacher who is the substitute due to my CT being out told a student that this is my first time fully teaching ever and that he was making it hard on me. She mentioned to the class that I was a great math teacher and that they should respect me, and it made me feel good to hear those words spoken, but I am not okay with struggling in this aspect. My students are well behaved for the most part, and I really do not have a lot of behavioral problems besides them being talkative. I am grateful to be learning the realities of teaching as a pre-service teacher. I still want to be the teacher I wanted to be on day one, and I know that I have come far. I just need to remember that I am a student teacher, and due to that, I need to give myself grace. I was hard on myself on Monday, and I reached out to certain members of my PLN who got me through that moment. I know that teachers have good and bad days, and, in the end, I know things will work out. After reading "Shattering the Perfect Teacher Myth" which I may need to re-read, I learned that it is okay to make mistakes as long as I learn from them. I am just starting out, and I have a long way to go, but I am reaching out to my PLN for support and trying to figure out new ways to reach my students. I am going to read "Hacking Classroom Management", and I know that book will give me a direction to go in. Being a new teacher is difficult especially with everything that teachers have on their plate, and I am trying to maintain my passion while being the best that I can be. I know that classroom management takes experience, and I know that it is an aspect new teachers struggle with. Next week, I plan on circulating around the room to make sure all my students are on task,a nd I am also going to create popsicle sticks for every student so that I can just pull names out and give everyone a chance to show me what they know. I am also going to try out new ways to get my students attention, and I plan on having a discussion with my students about how certain students are causing other students to not learn as much due to them disrupting the class. I want my students to know that we are a family, and I am here to encourage and support, but we all need to respect each other. |
AuthorMy name is Ms. Jachymiak, and I am a pre-service teacher currently attending Illinois State University. This blog follows my journey as a student teacher. @MsJachymiak Archives
May 2018
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